Paraprosdokian

Absolutely no motorbike content. But these just tickle me and I have to share. Oilburner keeps saying number 5 applies to me... I turn around and tell him to reread 19.

PARAPROSDOKIANS (Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous.

1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. They begin the evening news with 'Good Evening,' then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

10. Buses stop in bus stations. Trains stop in train stations. On my desk is a work station.

11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.

12. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'

13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

17. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

18. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

19. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

20. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

21. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

22. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

23. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

24. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

25. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

26. Where there's a will, there are relatives.

Does Anyone Else Have to Put Up With This?

I'm all for a clean bike, but this is taking it to extremes. Dismantling the bike, piece by piece, and washing it in the kitchen sink is not productive!

hehehe...ok...that isn't quite how the story goes...but it sounds good.

Funny the measures that Oilburner will go to to ride my bikes! This time around, he caught a big nasty screw in the rear tire.

The resulting situation looked like this:

Therefore the days ride looked like this:

Aahhhh...so nice to see the girls together. Luckily I was going to take the R1200R out today. Oilburner doesn't get to ride the R1200R. He is not responsible enough not to pop wheelies... It has been awhile since I have been able to ride the "R"...and it felt GREAT!! Such a smooth engine, so much power, aahhhh. Smiles all around.

But what I haven't told you is that this wasn't the first time. Back in March we had another day of perfect weather and hadn't been out for awhile. Again...Oilburner's bike looked like this:

Desperately waiting for a new pair of shoes. So the days ride looked Iike this:

The first time my girls were head to head. I'm so proud!!

Atlanta to Athens....again and again and again

It's that time of year again. The Multiple Sclerosis 150 from Atlanta to Athens, back to Atlanta.

The ride started Saturday in absolute downtown Atlanta, weaved through the various and sundry cities, mixed with narrow streets, road construction, bad drivers, and a full moon, to name a few obstacles. Within 15 miles the riders are farther into rural areas and aren't as harrowed, but that is a long 15 miles. I can barely survive it on the motorbike, I wouldn't want to attempt it on a bicycle. Then these riders headed out through the bucolic country side for another 65 or 85 miles to reach the little college town of Athens, GA.

If yesterday didn't do them in, they hit the start line and ride right back to downtown Atlanta the next day.

Needless to say, there are usually far fewer riders on Sunday than were present on Saturday. (And I don't blame them at all!)

The motorcycle marshals don't start downtown. We pick the riders up about 8 miles out. They get a police escort a portion of the way and don't need us getting in the way. But the police don't make any bones about when they stop the escort. We heard cyclists saying their absence was abrupt. Farther along they may not get an escort, but key intersections are manned by police or sheriff's that stop traffic for the larger groups of cyclists.

Our job as marshals isn't to stop traffic or escort the cyclists anywhere. We ride the route, faster than a cyclist, but generally slower than traffic, or posted speed limits, to keep an eye on the cyclists and help if they have any troubles. The most likely troubles are flat tires, broken spokes, derailed chains. We hope to never have to encounter a cyclist that hits something and is injured, or far worse, is hit by something and is injured. We have plans in place in the event that these are encountered, we just don't want to encounter them.

This years event was completely without events...with the cyclists.

Unfortunately, participation has dwindled each of the three years that Oilburner and I have been involved. (No, I don't believe there is a correlation there!) This event has only been in place for three years. So I can't say why participation is decreasing. I surmise it might be due to the location. I can't say that I would love to ride through downtown Atlanta, nor some of the outlying cities. Would participation increase if the start/end point was somewhere else?

I would have thought so, until I spoke with a rider Sunday morning that remarked on more cage drivers being more tolerant this year, thinking more drivers are becoming more aware of cyclists. Do events like these bring more awareness of cyclists (and possibly motorbikes)? Is it worthwhile to force the interaction, hoping nothing bad happens, to make ourselves (as bi-cyclists overall) more visible?

I'm just not sure of an answer to that.

I'm not going to say this is old hat for us. This was our fifth time volunteering as marshals for MS rides. We have progressively gained more experience overall, as well as increased our bag of tricks for what is needed or how to handle situations.

The big news is that this year we both received our HAM radio licenses (Amateur Radio). This was going to take our involvement to a new level. In past years communication had to occur through cell. Given where some of the routes took us cell coverage could be a bit sparse or command central could be busy with calls. Therefore, it could be difficult to contact the control dispatchers (Net Control) if we had a rider that needed to be picked up, or worse yet, had an emergency.

With our HAM radios we could just dial into the proper frequency and speak directly with Net Control. And even listen in to all of the chatter traffic. A few other marshals have their licenses, but all Support and Gear (SAG) vehicles have a driver and radio operator in the vehicle (two separate individuals). There is tight communication across the course of where the first riders are located along the route, to notify break points of when they should be ready. Or where the absolute last rider is on the course, since the Turtle van is right behind them. Or when another SAG is needed to pick up a rider that doesn't want to continue, needs a lift to the next break point that has a mechanic, all sorts of contingencies. Amateur Radio allows all of the people to be connected with each other to run as a tight unit and facilitate the event as a whole. You aren't going to get that if everyone is calling in to talk with operators on cell phones.

This year Oilburner and I get to be part of the "IN" crowd. We get to listen in, and participate when needed.

Right out of the gate the level of involvement was great! I took the first shift on the route when the first cyclists started to pass. As I was hitting every single stoplight I was able to call Net Control and have them inform my leads to spread the next marshal back farther than our original 10 min schedule. I wasnt going to get anywhere in 10 minutes, so the next marshal didn't need to get that close.

We were able to listen in when support vans were fending off loose dogs. In one instance, there was a request for a motorcycle marshal to sit with the dogs as the support van was needed to pick someone up on the course.

We learned when someone messed with the route signs. New signs were needed quickly. And oversight was needed when the second set of signs was removed.

I was able to inform Net Control the location of SAG #6, because it had just passed me. (The one support van that didn't have a radio operator on Sunday.) I was then dispatched to chase it down and tell it to phone into Net Control as it was desparately needed to pick up a cyclist. That was a fun one as I bent a few rules of the road to catch the van.

We were all on hand to listen to the Turtle van call in to report that it had stayed on the primary course, while the actual turtle cyclist had taken the Century route. (The Century refers to the 100 mile route.) We all got to hear the radio silence just before Net Control asked them to repeat. ;)

With so few attendees this year the riders were either bullet fast, finishing by 12:30, or turtle slow, coming across the finish line between 5 and 6. There wasn't much of an in between. It was the same thing on Sunday. There were large gaps between groups or riders, spreading thin, leaving us with very little job to perform. I was actually stopped by more non-involved cyclists, asking me what was going on, and sheriff's, asking me where everyone was, than I was by cyclists actually needing help!

We had been obsessing about the weather all week. I was hoping for intermittent rain showers since the temps were supposed to be in the 80's F. It would cool things of a little bit. And the weather patterns toyed with me as the predictions varied every day. Unfortunately the actual day of events say high 80's to low 90's with absolutely no rain. Of course, this had to be the hottest weekend that we have seen here this year. Murphy seems to be working overtime.

In all this was an extremely uneventful weekend. No accidents, no injuries, no flats. Many miles, many smiles, much sweat and some great people to ride with.

I took exactly four pictures the entire weekend. They were all the same shot and this was the best. ;)

 

 

Enjoying The Tours

We've actually been doing a fair bit of riding lately. They haven't been jaw-dropping or awe-inspiring,but they have been enjoyable. And we have found some interesting things along the road.

A couple weeks ago it was a trip to the east. No destination, so we headed towards some unknown roads to see where they would take us. It was a quiet, leisurely ride just choosing roads at random. As lunchtime neared and I came to an intersection I recognized, I knew Subway's was just down the way. Let's see if we could get some Subway's and see if we could find a park.

Ok, the park was out, but Elder Mill Covered Bridge was just down the road. I think the garden club might have a bench to sit on in their little gardens.

Missed out on that score too and wound up spreading our jackets on the gravel. Oilburner wanted to go sit on a rock in, or by, the water...

But I nixed that idea when I discovered all of the paths down were overgrown with poison ivy. I can't help it, with all of the poison ivy in this state, I am always singing the Coasters song of the same name throughout summer.

Much greener now than when we have ever visited here in the past. It was nice and overgrown. But definitely not a forgotten road by the locals. And I wouldn't have minded owning the house right above the river.

Heading home on yet more previously untraveled roads we spotted some insanely ornate structure surrounded by a fence. The slightly run down appearance had me thinking it was some old school. But I wanted a closer look. We found the main entrance to the "Church"...

This structure wasn't the church itself, but rather was originally built to be the pastors residence. When it was completed he said it was too large and ornate and became the "guest" house. This place was a marvel. I just couldn't get over all of the wrought iron, staircases, walkways...everything!

Some members came upon us as we were getting ready to leave. They offered to show us inside, which I readily accepted.

Wow! I was speechless. Thosed curved railings are a marvel. They had quite a few craftsman in the congregation. And the model house is actually of 'The Little White House', FDR's Georigia home in Warm Springs when he came to partake of the geothermal baths. The model is on loan from the state. Why? I don't know. And yes, there are lights behind all the white and red ceiling panels. ;)

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Yesterday was another one of those days that didn't have any hope of coming up with a destination, so it was another thought to just hit the back roads. Oilburner didn't know where to go, and all I knew was that I wanted to leave the state. He was thinking Lake Hartwell on the border of South Carolina. And I thought I would rather enjoy it from the other side. (I was right. The SC side was more likely to follow the river and lake line. GA reserved that for the rich on their dead end streets, or the hill people they were never able to evict and their land would be a superfund site with all of the dead and rotting cars slowly sinking back into the ground.)

We hit the highway (the paved one) to get out of dodge and make tracks towards the border. Close to 40 miles up the road Oilburner's bike and my tummy both need fuel. Two birds, one stone when we stop for bike fuel and there is an attached cafe. Yes, the cafe was on the corner...

After filling everyone up we headed out to find our adventure. I took the GPS out and selected to just head towards a road that sat on the lake, crossed the state line, and wasn't an interstate. This was interesting. I enjoyed turning down a first never traveled road before. Enjoyed going through town, by the newer looking courthouse and along the back of the businesses on Main Street. I don't think we were missing much being on the "wrong" side. I think most of those businesses were empty.

However, I kept seeing a sign for "Traveler's Rest State Historic Site". And it just happened to be in the direction we were headed. So when the sign deviated from our path I had a decision to make. It was actually quite easy...

This place was AMAZING!! The Traveler's Rest was an Inn to service the travelers on the Unicoi Turnpike in the early 1800's. The initial portion of the inn was built in 1815. The size was doubled in 1835. And 85% of that wood is original. Wow!

Now these are rules that I can live by:

The hidden drawers where the owner kept his gold were a little more hidden before someone in the past put drawer pulls on them. Can you identify the hidden drawers?

One of 11 fireplaces in the Inn that are not safe for fires.

How do you make cranberry colored glass? Mix a little gold in during the manufacturing process, of course.

Interesting little bathtub, completely with curves for soaking comfort.

Handrail was carved from a single log.

The cradle was carved from a solid log of Black Cherry

Ghost in the mirror. But I'm more interested in the men's [top] hat box. Never seen one before.

No more than 5 to these beds? No problem!

It's the little things...I've never seen window locks like these. I want!

I uploaded tons of pictures of the Traveler's Rest to Flickr.

We hit the road again and took a wrong turn. Actually...didn't turn, and that was the problem. But the road meandered along the river and I hoped it would be a nice opportunity to cross over into South Carolina. Yeah, that wasn't in the cars, but we stopped to turn around at the old power plant.

So serene!!

The ride through South Carolina was peaceful. We were amazed at how low the water level was. The GPS said we were supposed to be over water. The long grasses convinced me there hadn't been water here for a season or two. We didn't stop for pictures. Wasn't much interesting to photograph, but the views will live in my mind.

The return trip home still held something in store for us. The long way home took us through the granite capital of Georgia...and again past the Guidestones. We were up for a quick stop.

Remember, it's not the destination...it's the journey. Hope you find some special places on your adventures.

Highway Fines

Unfortunately some people can't seem to be responsible and dispose of their waste in a reasonable and adult manner.

No. They have to take their crap to the nearest uninhabited, or merely unlit, road and quickly offload. Therefore I agree with trying to curtail activities like this along beautiful back roads.

But seriously...would you call this a highway??

Something New

A couple weeks ago Oilburner and I did something we have never done before.

One of the first perfect days, and it has to be a Monday. It wasn't difficult to make the decision to ride to work. We hadn't ridden during the weekend, opting to enjoy the weather to catch up on some much needed work around the house. Or just sitting on the patio, listening to the birds, soaking up some time and vitamin D. (Covered patio, not soaking up direct sun.)

Sitting at my desk and facing down the 2:30 blahs it seemed such a shame to just head back home again. I was wondering what could be done with the day? We both rode to work. We both went in early and were eligible to leave about 3:30. There had to be something better than just pointing the wheel towards home.

I pinged Oilburner about going out for an early dinner someplace and not snubbing our noses at this perfect afternoon. He was absolutely game.

I started daydreaming about the open air restaurant at the marina in the mountains. A thick burger with steak fries and a good seat on the water was sounding appealing. But a quick search online didn't give me any hope that 1) they were open for the season yet, or 2) if they were open, would be open when we arrived. It was a 90 minute ride up there.

Oilburner and I met up in the parking lot where I work, and we hit the road without a clear destination, I was willing to forgo the marina, but I still wanted pub food. So we thought about the marina at Lanier Islands. We had been there once a couple years ago and found the food good, and the patio over the water excellent.

It has been a long time since we have been to this area and I was navigating from memory. (Memory was all I had considering I left the GPS at home this morning, thinking I wouldn't need it just to ride to work.) I managed to recognize enough landmarks to be successful. Too bad the restaurant hadn't opened for the season yet.

The gatekeeper was a fountain of information and directed us to another pub a couple miles down the road. It was apparent that he was a regular there when the waitress was able to tell us his name when we mentioned how we had arrived here. Gotta love the small town atmosphere that we just don't get to experience in many places around here.

Aahhhh...it was a wonderful afternoon, finding a great, new pub and enjoying a wonderful riding day in a unique fashion.

Mine. All Mine.

Ya know, it's a real dilemma trying to decide which bike to ride sometimes. The hazards of having multiple bikes. Of course, the GS is the new baby on the block and is like playing with a new toy. Of course you are going to be partial to the new toy. It just begs to be played with! But the R is the tried and true bike that has stuck with me through thick and thin, I've bonded with, I have a deep seated passion for.

So I face a real conundrum when deciding which bike for what adventure.

The R has the super large capacity side cases that hold the same volume. And I have the gargantuan top box purchased from insurance after Oilburners fatal bike wounding last year. I don't love that top box, but it is darned handy on a long trip. I usually only keep the camera backpack in it. Therefore when I stop someplace I grab it and can stuff my helmet and riding jacket in it. I don't have to lock anything special. I don't have to rearrange the side bags. Easy peasy.

I also appreciate the gas mileage at a steady 47 mpg when keeping near the speed limit. But the sport style leg positioning can get a little cramped on longer rides. Mind you, I wasn't bothered too much by the leg position until I had the GS to compare it to. I had always been able to stand, stretch my legs, or scootch to the back seat for a minute to alleviate pains.

The GS, on the or hand, has a "wider" stance for all around positioning. It feels extremely natural to sit up straight, the handle bars are wider, the pegs allow for a less cramped position. But those damn Vario side cases! The expanding feature is intriguing. (In case you aren't aware, these cases have a lever that allows you to expand the side lids out about two inches to increase volume.). Which is absolutely required to give any useful storage space for the muffler side. Collapsed, that case can barely hold a jacket. Truthfully, it isn't much better expanded.

With the engine still breaking in, the fuel mileage is variable. It has been consistent between 42-44 mpg. But lately has started to creep up to 46.

So that leaves the question of a long distance ride... For slabs, the GS is more comfortable but the storage is lacking. For slabs, the R gets better fuel mileage and great storage. For twisties? They are both hard to beat. I haven't yet figured out which one is more fun.

So I ventured to make my first big purchase for the GS in the form of a top box. I had bolted my old Pelican on to the rear rack, and I really like it. But it doesn't hold a candle to being able to stuff a helmet and jacket into it.

I just happened to be flipping through Beemer Boneyard looking for an RT rack that would hold the trusty top box and could be modified to fit onto the GS rack. No luck. But I did find the matching Vario top box for a ridiculously low price.

They described the only damage being to the aluminum top being scratched and dinged. But upon arrival, we also discovered a missing back edge cover. You can't win them all. The back edge cover doesn't affect functionality and I wasn't concerned about replacing it. But at a small cost of $15, I'll do it.

Oh yeah, there is the standard crack along the bottom hook and this is the older model when they discovered there needed to be a centering pin to prevent the box from separating itself from the bike at the slightest provocation. All things that can be fixed or retrofitted thanks to those pioneers on ADVRider.

The first, and most important, thing to tackle was the lock. Someone had kindly removed the lock and all I needed to do was purchase a replacement one and key it to my keys. I had always been interested in how those things are rekeyed, but hadn't the nerve to try my hand at it.

This was my time!!

For a measly $35 I acquired a new lock cylinder with many pretty little "followers" to key to my hearts content.

This is an example of incorrect keying where the "followers" are too "proud". They should be flush with the cylinder.

This is an example of proper keying. The last follower sticking up from the cylinder is the lock. It prevents the cylinder from being slipped out. That tab will catch being a plastic tab preventing it from moving.

If you look closely at the top of the cylinder you will see the tab.

Here is the cylinder installed in the handle, with the key in the "locked" position.

The mounting rack for the bike, the lock, the retrofit locking pin, the top box, and the rear edge and I'm still at less than half of the price of a new one. Of course, it isn't quite as large a capacity as the one on the R. And as Nikos has found out, it might have difficulty holding a regular sized helmet. But it does increase storage. We shall see if it will fit the bill.

On a side note...Oilburner and our friendly parts guy continued to harass me about the ding in the top aluminum piece. They both encouraged me to replace the part. My question, why does it have to be fixed? I'm fine with the damage. It isn't extensive, it doesn't affect usage, it is only cosmetic. I'm going to damage it in some way, shape or form. A sticker will even cover the entire issue. So why do I need to spend money unnecessarily on this. What are your thoughts?